Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I WAS fine. Just fine and dandy, them WHAM.

This grief thing is rough. I have been fine, and accepting things and I haven't cried in a while (not even at Greys) and then today WHAM. I don't know where all these feelings came from, I guess maybe I was keeping them in and they were just waiting to come out. It started on the way to work this morning. I was thinking about what I need to be planning and started thinking about Kornfan's graduation in June and how I need to get time off, a dog sitter ect. Then I started thinking about my dad and how he cant be there, and it just unleashed this torrent of emotion. Damn, I thought I was doing so well. Stuffgirl had a rough day too, strange how we live so far apart yet we were both on the same wavelength. Watching her baby videos is what did it to her, she said you couldn't see Papa (that's what she called him) but you could hear him and see his feet. I guess there will be more days like this, Lynda warned me. Damn. OHHH I know valentines is a trigger too, he loved valentines. When he could afford it he would get my mom, me and my sis in law matching rings for valentines. I have 6 of these rings, when he retired he had to stop. The picture is of those rings, they are very precious to me.



Blogger Mrs. Slushie said...

I'm sorry your having a bad day Mel... Hang in there and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I love those rings and I know they are really special to you.

9:33 PM  
Blogger Blazer1234 said...

Mel hang in there. Some days are better than others, that's all a part of life. I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day, but your Dad's tradition of buying rings for you, now that is something real special. Very cool.

10:42 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

awww..your dad sounds like a wonderful man, and a great gift giver! I really don'g have any good advice...my grandma died in 1986 and I'm still sad. But I do know that there are days ahead when the tears aren't so close to the surface, and it will get easier...not ever better, just easier.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Aw, I am sorry. I had a day like that last week. They are getting fewer and farther in between for me.

Time heals all wounds. Or at least, makes the scabs a little thicker.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Happy Valentine's Day--even if it is bittersweet. I'm sure you're glad for those wonderful memories. Grief is personal and individual, no timetables. :)

5:54 PM  
Blogger poody said...

((((hugs))) I so wish I could be there to comfort you. I would take you out for a mexican martini and some queso and chips followed by tre leches cake and some mexican hot chocolate!Then to be sure you were feeling better we could go to the male strip club and watch a few good men shake that booty!!

11:33 AM  
Blogger cheer34 said...

I know those moments. 3 years later they still hit hard. Not as often.


1:40 PM  
Blogger Zed said...

I've been having down days as well. Last week I saw a TV ad with someone who looked just the very tiniest bit like my sister, and I cried on and off all day.

Grieving comes at the strangest time, and is triggered by almost anything. The good news is, it passes within a day or so, until the next event. You know what? You tears make you normal, Mel, and "normal" is a good thing. A very good thing.

11:37 PM  

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