Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Terrible Horrible really bad day..

We have all had bad days before, but honestly I think Sunday by far was the worst day of my whole life, Today and tomorrow will be really bad ones too. He never came out of the coma and just stopped breathing. He had a DNR from a living will he had done years ago so that was it. My mom and my brother were with him, I was in the bathroom of all places! But when they let us back in after they cleaned him up I knew that was not my dad anymore.

My thankfulness for my dad continued yesterday, he had bought and paid for the burial plot, stone and everything. He also (mom does too) had funeral insurance, he had already picked out and paid for his funeral casket and everything! We still spent about 2 hours at the funeral place but we didnt have to look at caskets or urns or anything. Mom will end up paying maybe 400 out of her pocket after insurance pays and the Veterans benefits kick in. Such a wonderful thing, I knew he done all that but I didnt appreciate it until the time came.

Today is the private family viewing and the recieving at the funeral home. The funeral is tomorrow at 11 at his church. He is having a military service, he was a Korean War veteran. This is so hard, his stuff is all round and its hard. I know most of you have been through this but this is my first close loss. It SUCKS.

The Canadian is coming today, so I will have him to lean on. He lost his dad 11 years ago so he knows. My brother is wonderful, I have a great family.

The kids have been here alot, they are taking it hard too. His grandchildren were everything to him! I always told my kids when he spoiled on them that I didnt know who he was because he was strict with his own kids but treated the grandkids like royalty LOL.

Well I am rambling but it helps to write all this down so bear with me.




Blogger Anne said...

How wonderful of your dad to have taken care of those things. I remember how hard the funeral home trip was..trying to decide on those kinds of things is harsh. That is amazing that he did all of that for you guys. And how nice it will be to know that the service is exactly what he wanted.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Slick said...

Mel...I am deeply sorry for your loss. There's nothing I can say or do to make anything any easier. Just remember, for what it's worth, you have readers who support you and offer our heartfelt condolences.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Mushy said...

Sorry Mel, but you probably already know it was for the best.

Lost my dad back in '76 and my step-dad last March (I posted about it), so I understand.

You still have your memories of him.

I know this is all bullshit and cliche, but it's what people do. The best advice is - sit down somewhere alone and cry it out! Then get on with it.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Mel. I'm here for you sis!

10:59 AM  
Blogger ben said...

Hey. Chanced upon your blog. I lost mine last year. It sucks ya. Sigh. Wish you well.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mel, I am so truly sorry for this great loss - My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family! Here is a prayer for you:

"Lord Jesus help me as I mourn, comfort me with the knowledge of your love which is stronger than death. Enable me to trust you for the future of my loved ones and myself. Help me to cast all of my care on you, knowing that the grave holds no power over those who trust in you.
They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them."

11:35 AM  
Blogger nicki said...

aww Mel..you just keep on rambling..it will do you good...i've been in your shoes as well..i lost my dad when i was 18...it was the hardest thing that i've ever gone though...as this will be one of the hardest things for you to go through..i'm so glad that you have great family surrounding you, take comfort in each other, and know that I too will be here for you if you ever need to talk or anything, my email address is on my profile take good care..much love to you. *hugs*

12:36 PM  
Blogger Bluepaintred said...

wonderful that your dad thought ahead to plan like that. it really does take the burden off family when its done. But im so sad that you had to take advantage of that.

I lost my mom in 97. My heart breaks for you because i know the feeling.

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Mel, ramble all you want. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Sodapop said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Mel. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

I'm so glad you have your wonderful family around for you.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Write as much as you want. I still have the post I wrote the day after my sister died.

I am so sorry for your loss. The hurt is very painful, but it will be less hurty over time. For me it is like a scab that gets picked sometime. Oh, lovely analogy, I know.

I would just recommend giving in to your emotions when need be and continue to be thankful that you have a wonderful dad.

You know where to find me if you need anything. I was going to email you, but I wanted to give you the space you need.

3:53 PM  
Blogger me said...

I am so sorry.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

Mel, I am so sorry. We are thinking about you and your family, my friend.

6:20 PM  
Anonymous JavaJabber said...

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wise father ... to save your mom and everyone from having to go through the stress of doing funeral arrangements and the grief from your loss.

I was 41 when I lost my dad. It was unexpected and traumatic. Particularly since I never even thought that the possibility existed that either of my parents would ever die.

My prayers are with you.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Mel -

Just checking in - I don't have any words of wisdom -


10:54 PM  
Blogger kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope your warm memories and loving family members buoy you through your grieving.

3:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for the loss, Mel. I really am. Please accept a big big hug from me and sincere condolences.
(I feel so terrible that I've been gone from blogging for a week and never knew of your father's stroke or decline.)

You'll get through these days, Mel, as tough as they are. And in time you'll look back to remember all the good times and moments you shared with him. Those are precious times you will hold onto for the rest of your life.

I'm praying for you. I believe with everything in me that you will see him again.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Sans pantaloons said...

You have my condolences Mel.
And a cuddle.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Blazer1234 said...

Oh, Mel, I'm so sorry that your Dad passed. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. At least a lot of burden was taken off of your family by having everything set. Now you can all concentrate on honoring your dad and celebrating his life the way he would want you to. (((hugs)))

8:43 PM  
Blogger keeks said...

I'm sorry for your loss Mel, I'll be thinking of you! (hugs)

11:00 PM  

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