Thursday, November 30, 2006

And Life goes on......

I think the worst is over but yet I know that isn't true either. Just the knowledge that I can never see or talk with him again...Well its hard. So I will just take things one day at a time.

The funeral service was the best I have ever been too. The guy that gave it knew dad and you could tell. I did have a problem with the open casket. I really don't like that custom at all but that's just me. He had a color guard at the cemetery, and when they played Taps I just about lost it. But he would have happy with everything. Mom insisted on going back to the grave that afternoon so I got pictures of the flowers that were left there. I will post it when I get home and can actually download pictures.

Mom is throwing stuff away, I don't say anything because I guess this is how she is dealing with it. But tonight she was going to throw away an old pocketbook, and I just happened to get it from her. I asked if there was anything in it and she said no. But I looked anyway, it just had 2 old mints in the bottom but when I opened the zipper part there was a $50 bill in it!! So you see what we are dealing with.

My brother is taking care of all her finances but until the death certificates come we cant do a lot. Tomorrow We are taking her to the bank to get my brother added to the account. My brother is pushing big time for us to move back to Virginia and has even offered the Canadian a job (well an interview) where he works, but they cant pay what he makes now and housing is much more expensive here so I don't know. Plus I would have to find a job here, its a BIG decision. While SC has never been home really we have friends there now and I have a job I like that will work around my disability. So I dunno. My kids are THRILLED we are even considering this but I just don't know yet. Can you tell I am torn? I just want things to be the way they were but they never will be that way again.

Thanks for all your comments, they mean so so much to me right now. Can I get a group hug????



Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Mel - I think you will have good day and not so good days.

BIG BIG HUG to you -I hope that you are able to do what is best for you and your family.

12:11 AM  
Blogger kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

((((BIG HUG)))) Take time to be kind to yourself -- put your feet up, have a cup of tea -- and know that we're all sending kind wishes your way. :)

1:29 AM  
Blogger me said...


Hang in there.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous JavaJabber said...

Never made a major life decision while in the midst of grieving and being emotional.

Major VIRTUAL HUGS going your way.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}

Mel, I can tell you from experience that there will be good days and bad days. Everyone I have talked with who has lost someone they love has them. When Laurianne died, we didn't get rid of her stuff. I think some people do and some don't. You may want to save some things because 6 months from now your mom may regret she got rid of everything. I have heard that before.

Also, you may want to wait before making any life changing decisions. I can see where your brother is coming from. After a year, I still want to move closer to my family. I am sure you and the Canadian will figure it all out!

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm here for the group hug...

{{{Mel and everyone else}}}!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Ms.L said...

Big hugs from me tooHUGGGGGGSSSS

3:14 PM  
Anonymous mad ethel said...

Oh, okay! ;) {{{{GROUP HUG}}}}

My grandfather did the same thing when grandma died. He just opened up his door and let any and everyone in to take anything, and I mean absolutely anything including pots and pans and pictures hanging on the walls. Hell, if they had asked for his underwear he would have given them those too.
I think it is a way to cope. I imagine it's hard to be surrounded by the physical things that remind us of our lost ones.

Here's another hug for good measure. {{{HUG}}}

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My condolences Mel.

I hate to give conflicting advice, especially since Javajabber's advice is mostly sound.

But I'd like to offer another perspective. A lot of huge life changing opportunities came up in tandem with major tradgedies in my life. If I would have put off making decisions, almost all of these opportunities would have passed me by. Also being in a state of greiving I made some different decisions than I would have made normally. In my case it changed my priorities (in a good way). I still took the time to try to explore my options throughly. I trusted my gut . In the end things really worked out for me. What I am trying to say is don't ignore oportunities that arise in the midst of dealing with a tradegy. They may be just the thing that end up giving you strength, help you cope and add more meaining to life.

>Big Hug<

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another BIG HUG for you, Mel!

5:43 PM  
Blogger Sans Pantaloons said...

[{(Group hug for Mel)}]

8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Big big big hug to you! You and your family are in my thoughts. xoxoxo

11:38 AM  
Blogger Teri said...

I'm with you Mel, I HATE open caskets and never understand why people want them. I can never go up to the casket but thankfully the people who have passed aren't related to me so I can get away with it.

Best of luck with the decision making. and I agree with Java, don't make decisions while you're emotional.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

My first really close loss was my Dad, too. I understand. I will always be merely an email away if you need to talk or anything.

I wouldn't do anything for awhile. Making a big change while you are grieving would be a mistake. The experts would tell you the same. That's my two cents. Ignore it if you want.

((((Mel)))) God bless.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Blazer1234 said...

((((Big, Huge Hug))) Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure it will be the right decision. Hang in there. You're in my thoughts!

9:23 PM  
Blogger Spidey said...

Sending HUGE Huggerzzz your way :)

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:37 AM  
Blogger keeks said...

Hi Mel, sending you hugs.

1:17 AM  

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