Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I tried to post this morning but blogger ate my homework....

Alot of fellow bloggers have complained about the posts that just vanish into thin air never to be seen again, and thats what happened I guess. It wasnt a great post anyway.

I want to blog about my mom. She was crying on the phone yesterday, she is lonely and depressed. You have to understand my mom. She was always the loner, in high school she was voted the quietest. She never has made friends easily and never has really tried to make friends through the years. When I lived in Virginia, I spent alot of time of her, shopping and going to movies, or doing stuff with the kids. When she married my dad, he was very outgoing, had lots of friends and could make friends quickly. In fact in social settings he was the life of the party so to say and mom would just bask in the glow of his outgoingness (I know thats not a word but its hard to explain this) and sit quietly. So she really has no friends, I am not there to spend time with her. My brother goes over a couple of times a week, and my kids are going out and doing stuff, have fun and working and havent been there since my last visit. It breaks my heart to hear my mom cry like that but I really dont know what to do. At church it was suggested that maybe some of the senior widow ladies could be roomies and share a house but she was VERY offended at the suggestion and says she doesnt want a roomate. I dont know how to help her and the fact that is she is quiet but she is very stubborn and set in her ways! She also has developed some paranioia lately which makes matters worse.

Anyway I am just venting. Blowing off some steam She misses dad, I miss dad.



Blogger Teri said...

I'm sorry your mom's so sad. This would break my heart if it was my mom.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Tanya Espanya said...

Oh, Mel, this is hard, I'm sorry. She could come up here and hang out with my Evil Mum, and I can take them shopping...Or she can help out with the baby (only 95 days to go!).

6:30 PM  
Blogger Mushy said...

Momma's are wonderful people - the one that loves you just because you are and not what you are. Take care of little momma!

My little mom is 80 has had a rough go of it over the years. She's buried 3 husbands, had part of her colon removed, part of a lung, and weighs about as much as one of my legs. I fell blessed to be around her and to have her talk to me and tell me about the old days.

7:58 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Maybe you could ask your kids to stop by. I don't think a roomie is really the answer. You could end up with someone who tries to rip her off or what have you.

I think taking a class that she has an interest in might be good for her though. It gets her out of the house a bit, and it allows her to meet people with a common interest.

I am kind of like your mom. I bask in Dan's outgoingness. I guess I better watch out there, huh?

7:59 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

aww Mel, that is so sad. Just be there for her and love her the best you can.

It's hard for a child to see her mother cry and be lonely.

Your dad must have been something really, really special....you were very lucky to have him.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Fantastagirl said...

Perhaps she could go to the senior center for meals one or two days a weeks - she would be able to meet people, yet not be forced to hang out with them...

I feel so bad for her - it breaks my heart...

10:00 PM  
Blogger Blazer1234 said...

If she lived close to me I'd go over every day and visit. Is there a senor center or anything that she go to visit during the day? Sometimes they even provide transportation. I'll be praying for her. I can't even imgine how she is feeling and what she is going through. And I'm sure it's really tough on you since you can't be there to help her. Hang in there. I'll be praying for her.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Gary said...

I always write my posts in Microsoft Word, then copy and paste them to blogger. That way, if blogger eats them, I still have the original.

11:12 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

They have a senior group at church, and they meet twice a month (I think) and the one time she went they sang a song that was at sung at dad's funeral. I dont think she has been back. She has been going to church every sunday if the weather is decent, so thats a good thing. I have asked my kids, begged them to go see her but they havent in a while.

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe your mom would like a pet. A cat - an animal that enjoys the company of its owner but is also independent too and take care of itself. Maybe even 2 cats. They do wonders for seniors.

4:12 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Slushie said...

I'm sorry Mel. I wish I had some advice to give you but I don't. I know she has to be sad and lonely and I know it breaks your heart.

5:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mel,
I just noticed on your sidebar you've got my URL wrong. It's now:

sheer-lunacy is now defunct.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Slick said...

It's got to be very painful for the both of you Mel. Wished I had some easy answer...but there isn't one.

Just my sympathies...

10:47 AM  
Blogger Lynda said...

Can your brother look into bereavement counseling for your mom in the area? She made need it, if just for a little while.

I have read in the past that losing a spouse is one of the most stressful things a person can go through.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Mad Ethel said...

That breaks my heart. I'm so glad she has you.

11:34 AM  

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