What happened 4 years ago.

Vegas Princess asked why my kids don't live with me anymore. It occurred to me that I have not blogged this story, but its a big part of who I am. I am a bit bitter about this, and please consider you are only hearing my side of this story. My Ex I am sure has a whole different story. And my kids may have a whole different take on this.

Anyway, its an old story. My ex and I divorced and it was in no way amicable. These people that say they remain friends with their exes? I envy them and I wonder how do they do it (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore come to mind but am sure there are lots of others). My ex resented having to pay child support big time. He pulled crap like writing "bitch" on his check under pay to the order of, and accused me of living the high life off this money. Which is ridiculous, anyone who is raising kids know how expensive they are. Anyway. I met and Married the Canadian and moved from Virginia to South Carolina and I took my kids with me. From the time we moved he worked on the kids, trying to get them to move back with him (we had joint custody, I had physical). The kids were never really happy here, they loved Richmond and missed it (so did i and I still do)
Anyway, that was 10 years ago. 4 years ago my daughter and I were butting heads, she was 15 and pretty stubborn. Not a bad kid but just a teenager. I had just gotten out of the hospital from Heart failure and I had almost died twice so I was pretty weak and she springs on me during an argument that they had decided to move back with their dad. I let them go for several reasons, I was too tired and weak still to argue and they were old enough to make their own decisions. I told them if that's what they wanted well then OK. I had another reason. They thought of him as the fun guy, the dad that only saw them on weekends, let them stay up late with no rules...always taking them out to fun things. They didn't remember living day to day with him and how he was. I wanted them to learn that he is not the fun guy when you live with him. Oh boy have they learned that big time. He made them promises to get them move that he never fulfilled. He remarried and I thought he would finally not be so angry about the divorce but he still is to this day. We never speak anymore. He and his family came to my dads funeral and that was the last time I spoke with him.

In retrospect I would have done things alot differently, I would have said no to them moving. But one good thing has come out of this, my daughter and I have a way better relationship. Now that I am not the one enforcing the rules we get along so well. We talk to each other several times a day and I am the first person she calls when something happens. My son and I have always had this bond, its a mother/son thing but we don't speak as often as stuffgirl and I do.

That's the whole boring story. Typical divorce tale I guess. But Stuffgirl and her dad have been butting heads now, and she may move back here for the summer. I will let her use my old car I cant part with yet and I even have a job for at my work. She says she is going to come but I am trying not to get too excited, in case it doesn't happen. She still has alot of friends here and they are all after her to come so I hope so. Since she is adult now there wont be any rules to enforce and I really hope it happens.

Later