Saturday, December 24, 2005

See I can blog everyday if I am not working....

But on work days its all I can do to drag my sorry ass to work and home, cook dinner and then read some blogs before bed. I try to be better but the time slips away and its bedtime before you know it.

A comedy of errors with my bloodwork. I went yesterday before dinner, and they wouldnt do it because I forgot I had to fast. So I go back today, I fasted and everything (no coffee this morning or even Strawberry hot chocolate) and they wouldnt do it because my wonderful insurance company requires that they send the blood to their own lab but that lab is closed until Tuesday. So Here I am, I have all my blood in my veins for now. I dont stress out over things like that anymore though, there is no sense in it. So I will have to take time off from work to get it done and I was trying to avoid that.

My friend that is having us to her house tomorrow night called me in tears today. She is one of the strongest people I know and she is having a really bad year. She lost her mom this summer, and her sister is losing her battle with cancer. I feel like an awful friend because I dont know how to comfort her. She was crying and I was crying. I told her I loved her and if she needed anything but it all seems inadequate.
She is still having christmas though she says since her husbands family is in town, so I will see her tomorrow. Maybe I can think of something to say or do in the meantime.

Anyway here is a shot of my puppy, you can see the christmas tree in the background. She is doing great and her hole you can see is all healed! Merry Christmas Eve to all.



Blogger Lynda said...

As someone who is also have a bad year, I can help you with the friend department. I think what you are doing is the best thing. You are there to listen to her and to let her cry on your shoulder. You aren't running away from her because there is a problem. You aren't trying to fix it, because it can't be fixed. (Though that might be why you feel like what you are doing is inadequate.)

Just remind her that you are there for her day or night. If her sister loses her battle, be by her side. Maybe make a meal or two for her or her family because then they can focus on grief and all the other stuff that goes with death, like funeral arrangements. My sister's friend had her church bring meals for my parents (and all the guests!) for two weeks after she died. It is easy to forget to eat. Most of all, she will appreciate just knowing you are there.

If she really wants to know she is not alone, she can read all my blog entries about my sister's death, but grieving is such an individualized process. So the best thing to do is keep doing what you are doing. I feel really bad for her, because it was hard enough for me losing my sister, I couldn't imagine losing a parent as well. I hope she does ok.

It sounds like you are a great friend.

Oh, and one other thing is that you might want to watch for signs of depression, especially since this is such a difficult time for her.

Sorry for the rambling post, and good luck with the blood work. I hate needles. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

Lynda :)

7:41 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

BTW, I was so focused on your friend, I forgot to mention that your puppy is really cute. I love dogs and cats!

7:43 PM  
Blogger Henry (Calem's Opa) said...

Hi I am Lynda"s Dad I can also relate
wih having a bad year. My thought are
with your friend. The thing that comforted me the most is that people were there for me. I love when people just listen what I had to say.I wish her all the best in this difficult time.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Spider Walk said...

My thoughts go out to you and your friend Mel. This is a difficult year for me also. I lost my mom to cancer on New Year's Eve. You are such a special friend, just keep doing what you are doing. Actions speak louder than words, and just being there by her side speaks volumes.

Your dog is adorable! I love his shiney smooth fur! What a cutie :)

Special Holiday Hugs for you!


10:59 PM  
Blogger nicki said...

hey mel, i agree with everything that has been commented here..i think just doing what you are doing is being a wonderful friend :) when i lost my father when i was 18, the thing i appreciated the most was having someone i knew that i could call and that they would just listen to me and talk with me..and cry with me..don't ever feel like you aren't doing enough for her, because what you are doing is the best :) i think you're a lovely lady..merry christmas to you and yours.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Mel said...

Thanks guys, your comments mean alot. Bec called me later yesterday to apologize for crying earlier!!! I told her anytime she needed to do that to call.

3:51 PM  

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