So do you feel ANY better yet?

This is the question i am getting asked this week. I guess people think after 3 weeks on the meds something should be different. Its frustrating, I don't really feel better, in fact last week it was worse but i really think a lot of it is of the medicine. This is some strong shit I am on lol.

So I feel like i am under a microscope, everyone is watching me to see ...what? I don't even what is normal anymore lol.

But knock on wood, i did feel a smidge better yesterday and today. I dont wanna even jinx things by saying that. And its not much of a difference. Time will tell. I see the doctor on Monday and the weekly blood tests should tell if i am really getting better.

Later

Mel's Gadgets :)

Week 2 of the meds, i have had some bad days but then some days are ok. The doctor doesn't think i should be working at all but what else would i do? Sit around and mope and get depressed? Nope. I need money anyway for all my fun gadgets. I love gadgets lol!! Plus my work is not hard, stressful sometimes but not physical.

Speaking of gadgets, I love my Nook, although sometimes i think i should have gotten a kindle but the instant i want a book I can get it. Instantly. Awesome. Another great gadget is my droid phone. It does so much stuff but making a call is challenge sometimes go figure :) I downloaded Mansfield park on it and listen to it at work.

And my 3rd best gadget ( this is like Oprah's fav things....Mel's Fav things...think I could get a talk show?) Is my DVR. I am a child of television, i love TV. always have. I was not one of those mothers that wouldn't let my kids watch TV....i watched and I am not a serial killer. But the DVR is great, i can watch what i want when i want, I can leave in the middle of movie and pause it.

Last best gadget is my Kreurig coffee maker. I was off my coffee for a while, just didnt want it but the urge is starting to come back to drink more coffee. Its funny how when u r sick your tastes change in food. Anyway, instant cup of perfect coffee in seconds, you cant beat it. Plus there are flavored coffees galore out there for it.

Oops cant forget my i pod touch. Thats been on my fav list for several years now. I like the instant song thing too :)

OK i guess I am done. I am not get any $$ for endorsing this stuff, but next on my want list is an ipad. Why? I don't know why I just want one lol. So if anyone wants to talk to Steve jobs or whoever is in charge there , maybe i could product test?

Later

Good times :)

I started my meds Tuesday, so far i am not sure if i see small improvements or not. It still hurts, and the predisone is working on my attitude big time. I am ill tempered and i know its the drugs so I am trying to not bitch whine gripe fuss whatever. At home its easy, at work its hard to not lash out. But i am trying lol The good news is i am tolerating the anti rejection drugs well, now if it works.

Nothing else is really going on around here this week. I havent felt like doing much. Thought about trying to do some Christmas shopping this morning but the sales are still not great yet. I am a bargain shopper, lol or i try to be anyway.

I am trying to stay upbeat. Its hard, I wanna do normal stuff and I cant really do much of anything. Ugh. I am fighter though and i am NOT going to give up.

Maybe soon I will have good news for the blog. What a bummer this is to my readers lol.

Later

The Biopsy is over, and i didnt bleed out lol yay. I fact i did quite well, although I dont remember what i said to the radiologist (who also happens to be my boss), I am hoping i didnt call her a cheap bitch for taking our health insurance away while the docs kept theirs (of course) lol. Versid is good for making you tell the truth i think.

I will find out monday what the biopsy showed and the course of treatment. Huge doses of predisone has been mentioned. Cant wait for even MORE weight gain on that lol.

Zed asked what this has done to me. For a long long time i have had terrible back and side pain. Mentioned it to several docs and was told that back pain could be almost anything. My abdomen is distended. I am tired all the time. Sometimes it feels like a baby is inside me moving around (really dunno what the hell that is all about). I have turned a yukky shade of yellow and my pee is bright orange. Thats about it. They only found this in routine bloodwork. The biopsy was to tell them how advanced this is.

So there it is. I have read up on this too, and had to stop, its scary shit. I too am hoping for remission.

My daughter came from Virginia to see me, and it was sooo good to see her. We didn't do much but being with her made me feel better. Yes, i am not above using this turn of events to get attention from my kids lol

Later